Yesterday, as I was waiting to get my hair done I took a picture of the Christmas tree and processed it.
Then a big heavy cloud descended.
I felt like someone had died. As I’m prone to do I tried analyzing why. It was exactly 2 years ago that my father-in-law died, but we had already acknowledged that. Then the post my daughter wrote about hating everything about her bday being in December with the tag #sorrymom. But I already knew why. Then a process group was ending… maybe that was it. My sister-in-law is coming next week. I’m anxious about that. Or is it because I am acutely aware of missing the UK. OR is it because we have lived in this old house for a year now and it drained our bank account dry. Or I just get depressed every December.
I have work to do. I have to get out and make friends. I need to make my anxious self do it. It’s scary.
The dark cloud isn’t as dark today but it’s still hanging close. Luckily it didn’t stay. It’s an awful feeling… heavy heavy grief.
Hope your day is better than mine!
After another cuppa, I’ll feel better!