Just realized comments turned off…. now on….
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Today I listened to a YouTube video and it reminded me of my poem (Thank you Susi.)
This is a poem I wrote about 6years ago. Repost from a blog posted back on 4/18/ 2018.
I now have the tag #ReligiousTraumaSyndrome or #RTS.
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Forbidden Waters
“When we are not sure, we are alive.”
—Graham Greene
Sitting in church gazing through the window
The sun beckons me to leave.
The preacher rages on.
I believed. I was trained. I was sure. I was dead.
The preacher’s sermons sound like a drum beating in my head:
Only whores dance, rock and roll is for drug addicts.
Thou shalt not have fun. The sun hid behind the clouds.
I was naive. I was trapped. I was scared. I was dead.
Out in the brazen sun, I tested the waters.
A small transistor, hidden under my pillow,
Melodies, lyrics of wanton acts spoke to me
I was listening. I was tempted. I was not sure. Was I dead?
I followed the path illumined by sunrays and jumped into the pool.
There was no life preserver, I struggled against the waves.
My head came above the surface. I heard cheers and jeers.
I was escaping. I was scared. I was rebellious. I was not dead.
I met a girl who danced and loved rock and roll.
She was neither a whore nor an addict.
She enjoyed the full sun. She was not trapped.
I believed. I was free. I struggled. I was alive.
by Ruth 1/28/2013
revised 4/22/2013
aka RuthScribbles
I really enjoyed your post and much of it I can relate to, especially when you talked about your early experiences in church.
I am glad that you have managed to escape from the clutches of your former religious affiliations.
I feel very much the same way about the church that I gave the best part of 15+ years to.
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Thank you for commenting.
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Finding who we really are, without the labels of those who are, err – not us, shall we say? is one of the great joys in life. I’m so glad you found the vibrant, loving and sparkling woman you are.
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Thank you Liz
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Be you…
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😉
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RTS is real. Took me a few years to let go of negative feelings or other after effects. I just hope many others I know can see it for what it is and let go of their clutches..
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Yes it is still real and is still tearing it’s ugly head for me, but much less so. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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I understand. It gets easier with time but the work continues. Enjoy your weekend!🙂
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You too
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