today’s scribble (09/19/21) What would you do? <possible triggering>

I recently learned that someone from my fundamental background is a confessed (but not charged) child sex/incest offender.

Thankfully I was not a facebook friend of his, however four of my current friends are.

I messaged these friends, and no response from two, though I know they read it. Conversation with two. One unfriended him, the other did not. The other friend just acknowledged it.

Here’s my concern. If they are facebook friends with him, it can send a signal to their children and grandchildren and church members that he is safe. He will never be safe around children – those are facts.

My question-would you stay friends with these people in facebook? Two of them share nieces and nephews with me.

Nan Markel wrote a book and is an expert, and I hope she weighs in here.

Yes, this is a personal decision, but I would like to hear your thoughts. I tagged this as part of religious trauma because I was a member of the church they are all members of, and are scattered around the USA.

Thank you!

© Ruth Klein’s Scribbles

15 thoughts on “today’s scribble (09/19/21) What would you do? <possible triggering>

  1. Boy did you give me something to think about…I’m thinking. First thing, if you know him, why not send him a pdf copy of my book? In what tone did he announce it? Asking for help or bragging?

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      1. Publicly self-declared admission, attendance at approved program and willingness to hear they have a problem and demonstrate behavioural change, and willing to accept restrictions.

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      2. No, most don’t, it’s a narrow field of those who seek help and follow through. There’s a a huge body of ongoing research that suggests it is one of the most difficult states of being to change and that there is a lot of recidivism (continuing to offend). I’ve had two men I kept in touch with because they owned their behaviour and moved on.

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  2. Moral dilemmas really suck! It’s good you opened the dialogue with two who know (and are FB friends) with the man. How can a guy confess to this and not be facing the consequences? I’d say keep asking these folks about their take on the situation. They might know more than you or they may not want to even have to think about it. Perhaps they will make that unfriending decision for you.

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